Thinks...
2005-05-22 11:01 a.m.

So the Dr. Uninspiring Mathematician problem solved himself- didn't contact me again after last sunday. i feel a little bit mean as it might be because he's embarrassed at making a monkey of himself on the tennis court; but then if he's uptight enough to be so embarrassed then it's his problem. An australian would just laugh and say "ok so i'm shit at tennis, let's do something else."

I have managed to find someone who won't be a long term prospect but seems more likely to just have a laugh at least- this one is Mr. Archaeologist who is a field director in yummy places like Jordan and Wad1 Rum. I'm tempted to run with this one if it will get me to Wad1 Rum, though actually i'm tempted to run with this one anyway as he seems like a good bloke; and he has a northern irish accent, which to my utter shame I always find attractive.

(early signs of being attracted to unsuitable older men in there- my honours supervisor was northern irish; he shagged all the women in his lab, was violent and pig-headed and obsessive, but actually underneath it all a decent- if twisted- human being. He paid a lot of attention to me and took me seriously at a time when noone else did, because his wife had just died and my bloke had just died and we were both at the throat-cutting reckless stage of raw grief; neither of us ever took advantage of the situation, though many people assumed that he had, and that i was a young tart trying to get extra marks- which cost me the university medal; he provided an accepting ear where my parents couldn't because they were still tied up with my grandomther and with my mother's depression. Anyway as these things usually turn out, eventually we parted in impatience and anger; these days we are colleagues but completely avoid even friendly discussion.)

my other unsuitable older bloke is being confusing. perhaps his girlfriend hasn't worked out- because he usually is faithful and makes it clear to other people that he's not looking, when he has decided to go out with someone. at the moment he seems to be on for opportunities with me... which i don't find objectionable, i just wish there were any signs of permanence to the whole thing.

I read Lodge's Thinks... on Thursday- all the way through I was reminded of K.

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